Joe Dirt rocks in his "Mullet" - we believe, however, David Spade was poking fun. But what happens when we're out in public and we see an authentic ”Joe Dirt" admiring his reflection in storefront window? Our minds may question, "Is it already Halloween?" or, "Is this guy for real?" And then the harsh reality hits us! "This guy is serious!" "Oh mercy," we say under our breath and quickly scurry away in the opposite direction. Life experience has taught me there are certain questions, which simply cannot be answered.
For example, questions like, "What happened five minutes before 'The Big Bang?'" or, "Why can we remember the past but not the future?" or, "If Elvis is still alive, why does he only do interviews with The Enquirer and not Newsweek?" These are things we have to accept in order not to drive ourselves insane. But, what I struggle with is trying to understand how certain hairstyles become popular, mutate and then last so long in the marketplace? Could it be the food additives are affecting our better judgment? Have we altered our genetic code by consuming too many drugs during the 1960's? Is it because we are no longer part of the food chain?
Last week at Starbucks as I patiently waited for The Barista to construct my coffee drink, a customer walks in with the scariest haircut I had ever seen. I asked myself, Did she cut it herself? Can she not afford to have it done professionally? Did she use a meat cleaver? ...a Flowbee?
NOTE: For those of you who are unfamiliar with The Flowbee, here's grandma demonstrating how easy it is for her to do her own hair.
The Flowbee is a device that works similar to a vacuum cleaner. It "sucks up" the hair into a tube and then cuts it. For more information on how you can own a Flowbee, tune in to the "Shopping Channel" at around 4:00 a.m. Chances are you will be more courageous to order one if you've been drinking heavily.
Back at Starbucks I struggled to understand... Maybe this woman likes her "jacked up" hair? Maybe she's given up on life? Maybe she's blind? (No seeing eye dog so that couldn't be it). Maybe she doesn't know any better? I wondered how much this woman spends each month on Lattes and if she could invest her money more thoughtfully by getting a decent haircut.
But what about all of the celebrities (those rich folks) who can afford Starbucks and still choose to wear "scary hair?"
Maybe some get their fashion inspiration from Moe, Curly and Larry?
"Hey Kevin, look at me! I'm over here."
In the photos above, we see our most current and talked about fashion icons proving my "Three Stooges Theory" possibility. Could it be "famous people" wear their hair badly simply for the attention? In Britney's case, I'm not sure what to think. I do know that during Britney's self-indulgent haircutting session, there was a point where Brit did look a lot like "Stooge Larry." Donald Trump, Don King and Phil Spector are tied for "The Golden Crown" when it comes to "bad hair." The sad thing is, they think they look distinguished and irresistible in their coiffured mops. Can the "ego" distort reality to this degree? I'd like to think they're simply having fun at everyone else's expense.
In doing further research for this post, I consulted a geneticist who hypothesized "the bad hair gene" may be passed on by our parents. He provided me with a photo (seen below) of a young family which supports his claim. Was the geneticist on to something? "Notice the young daughter's hairstyle," the doctor proclaimed! "It's similar to her mom and dad's."
"Is there anything we can do", I asked the doctor, "to reverse the cycle of these genetic mishaps?" The doc's response?
"If you can't beat um, join um!"
-- Dr. Chi Tea
Dorlon Peckham - Hairdesigner
Genesis Salon & Medical Spa
250 Crummer Lane
Reno, NV 89502
775-828-9797
www.genesissalon.com
Here I am sportin' my Pompadour Mullet back in 1987 - Joe Dirt's got nothin' on me!
